A few weeks ago, Miss Michele wanted to take advantage of a quiet Tarot Chat to ask a question about her friendship with a particular person. Over the past several months, Miss Michele has been transforming her life with tools from the Secret Abundance Files. To live a happier, healthier life, we sometimes need to choose to sacrifice that which is not good for us, or at least cut down on how much of ourselves we give over to that thing. This friendship had become one of those things that seemed to do more harm than good so Miss Michele was considering her options.
The Tarot had something important to reveal to Miss Michele, that made her consider this friendship in a new light and empowered her choice to preserve or abandon the relationship. Have you considered the significance of the people in your life?
[Miss Michele] Is it worth my time and energy to preserve a friendship with a certain person?
[Serenity Bly] *ponders* That’s an interesting question. So many people choose to stay in a friendship or relationship that isn’t healthy for them without ever considering the value of doing so. Lets see what the cards have to say.
In the past we have the Ten of Swords, indicating a sense of having been manipulated into an unpleasant situation. But it’s tied with a Wheel of Fortune jumper. The difficulties you’ve faced with this friendship are part of “the plan”. It’s MEANT to be this hard, this friendship is significant and presents an experience you’re intended to have and to learn from.
[Miss Michele] It makes sense as we both believe so strongly in karma and being given challenges, etc.
[Serenity Bly] The Sun! is in the present. You’ve been learning to harness your strengths, you’re energy, and your inspirations. You’re looking from a power position now, knowing you can CHOOSE how this friendship exists in your life.
[Miss Michele] YES. That is true with everything in my life lately. I need to keep it from making me arrogant though. Let me rephrase, I choose NOT to be arrogant about it.
[Serenity Bly] At this point you feel like it is an either or choice and I feel like the Seven of Wands offers you other options. You mightn’t have realized that you make the battles, that is part of the choices you have the power over.
[Miss Michele] Oh I know I do. We know what buttons to push. But… I feel like I can’t stand around and watch a friend be miserable. Even if on some level she’s enjoying it. She always says, “If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s wasted potential,” and doesn’t see that in herself.
[Serenity Bly] In this position I feel like you’ll choose to keep this friendship and will have future battles. I drew a clarifying card since the Seven felt like it wasn’t finished and came up with an Eight of Pentacles. This is a growing/learning experience, persevering with this friendship is difficult but you are coming out stronger, you’re mastering your ability to influence others and the control you have over your own destiny. The friendship is giving you experience and tools necessary to create a stronger, powerful future. And perhaps, it is that for HER too.
[Miss Michele] It’s true. Without our endless whine sessions I would not have had, I’m done with this. I’m changing. But essentially, it IS worth it? Because that’s where I am. I think I KNOW the friendship CAN be preserved, the question *really* was/is… is it worth preserving? Because it will take time and energy on my part… being that I am the one in a position of power right now.
[Serenity Bly] That’s what it comes down to, YES, it is worth it. It may not get any easier but you both have something to gain from the friendship and would be better served by keeping it instead of discarding it.
[Miss Michele] I also fear that part of me is… “using” her for superiority. Like, we were both given the same tools, and look what I did with them and look what she *didn’t*. And that’s not right. It’s not a nice thing to be.
[Serenity Bly] I think the Wheel of Fortune wants me to tell you that there is something MORE that you don’t see in this relationship yet. The strings that are woven now will be pulled again further down the line. Like there is still a part to play, which could also be a “not now but maybe later” sense, you’ll be ready to release the friendship AFTER whatever part it has to play is done.
[Miss Michele] I agree. I feel a sort of *destiny* with her… I mean, seriously. Would anyone obsess this much over someone they’re not in a love relationship with? Unless they’re tied to cosmic karma in some way.
Have you ever had a friendship you felt was a challenge to maintain? How do you decide if the time and energy you give into a relationship has a fair balance in value for you? Have you ever given up an unhealthy relationship? What happened when you let go? What lessons have you learned from the relationships you’ve worked hard to keep?
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